BATTLING WRITING: ONE MONTH, 50,000 WORDS

I committed my November to writing a 50,000-word novel inspired by the NaNoWriMo project.

I’m a very self-conscious writer. Writing is a puzzle where the pieces—story, grammar, flow, context, and voice—shift when I add or change a word. If I follow the rules, I can be a decent writer, but I don’t want to spend my time simply telling decent stories. This month was about conquering voices of doubt in my head…and writing a story.

At the end of the month, I emerged with 50,000 words and a first draft of a novel. How did I temporarily fight my writing demons? I set a goal to write 2,000 words everyday. On November 8th, 15th, 19th, 21st, and 28th I didn’t write a single word. I never wrote more than 3,000 words in a day.

I’m sifting through my first edits of the book now. I’m still a self-conscious writer, but one armed with a few more tools that might help others along the way:

— I Did it My Way: You people out in the world expect a lot from me, so I ignored all of you when I wrote this first draft. I decided to focus on process rather than outcome. Something that resonates with me might have an impact on others. It’s also easier to edit a story I like.

Prison Building: I created a set structure for my writing practice. Writing was my first task each day. If I only wrote when I felt like it, I would have managed about six days of writing in November.

What if?: This was my first project where I put a couple of characters into a world and asked the question, “what would happen if?” Instead of an outlined plan for this book, I wrote through the story. I experimented like a scientist—the story was a vague hypothesis fueled by confusion and exploration.

—  Relief in Writing: Each word I put down on paper was one less word swirling around my head. Relieving myself of that burden gave me some peace of mind throughout the rest of the day.

No Free Samples:  I decided to stop giving the story away. People’s feedback started to shape the way I wrote when I tried to explain a detailed plot summary.

—  Those Stories with Intention: I wish I had addressed my intention at the beginning. My creativity supported my fears because I never stated my goal beyond “write 50,000 words.” I think it’s important to understand what type of work you want to create—it gives the mind a direction. My book currently lacks the humor and wonder I try to bring to my work.

—  Edit later: First drafts are terrible. Creating is about refining. That’s not something I can do at close range. I wrote a rambling version of my novel and walked away. Only now, as I begin to read my draft, can I see the size and scope of the story I created.