We sat in IHOP when she repeated the biggest lie you hear from political talk radio. She spoke without passion, between bites of strawberry pancakes covered in an assortment of syrup flavors.

I looked across the table at my friend. It was close to midnight, and I had made the trek to the suburbs just to cheer her up. We met in class two years before, both making fun of the other students. She was sarcastic and full of quirks. She loved James Dean and wore purple lipstick.

“What did you say?” I asked. She repeated herself.

“You really think that?” I was shocked. I could feel rage boiling up inside of me. A state of passion I tried to reserve for unsuspecting telemarketers and people who betray my trust.

I went off. While my blueberry pancakes cooled on my plate, I spoke my mind. How could she think that? She was talking about people I knew. People I cared about. She was wrong. She was close-minded. She was ignorant. She was using no logic to back up her claim.

She let me finish, but had a horrified look on her face. Finally, she spoke, “Everyone’s staring at us.”

I looked around. The dozen or so people in the diner looked away as I scanned the room.

“I wasn’t being that loud,” I said.

“You were. You were causing a scene,” she said. She hated the attention more than she cared about what I said to her. We ate the rest of our midnight breakfast in silence. As we got up to leave, I apologized for losing my temper. I never saw her again. I’ve never gone back to that IHOP.

There are people who spend their time on Twitter and Facebook being angry. I know how they feel. Filled with adrenaline, they try to force someone into recognizing their superiority through words on a screen. It feels good to defeat an opponent on the web, and it’s a skill I own. If I get angry enough, I will burn a whole town down to make my point.

Even recently I have felt that rage in a battle with someone on Twitter.  I felt a need to make a point, and then defend my position when attacked. The battles erupted with people I know, respect and care about.

I don’t like being that angry person. It makes me tense and closed off to the world. I feel bad for my opponent. I become engulfed in negative thoughts from the altercations. I know there are more important things in life than being right on social media.

When I see a social media battle raging, I try to step back and take a deep breath. I stop the fight, back off and listen to my opponent.

I’m trying to tweet like I’m sitting in a crowded IHOP with a good friend who I would like to see again.

It’s been over a year since the Denver Nuggets fired Brian Shaw. The Nuggets are retooled with enough young talent to soon make basketball in Denver fun again. Their coach, Michael Malone, is well respected around the league and is held with reverence among difficult players. The Nuggets have been better than expected this year, but are not playoff ready.

However, Denver doesn’t trust the Denver Nuggets.

Whether you’re a company, a business, a friend or a sports team, trust is hard to regain if you make a mistake. In professional sports, fans invest their money in a team and then hold a belief that the team should act within the best interests of the paying fan base.

The Nuggets are still recovering from the credibility hit they took after firing coach George Karl. I covered dozens of Nuggets games between 2012-2015 and respect the people who cover and work for the team. As I’ve watched this Nuggets season from afar, I’ve been struck by the difference of opinion held by people close to the Nuggets organization and the casual fan.

The Nuggets Mistake

At least in hindsight, the casual fan still doesn’t understand why the Denver Nuggets fired George Karl. At the time of his firing, he had just won the most games in Nuggets history and kept the Nuggets in the playoffs every year. Karl was fired after losing in the first round to the Golden State Warriors in the playoffs before they were “the best thing that ever happened to basketball.” The Nuggets best player, Danilo Gallinari, was injured before the series and the Nuggets limped out of the playoffs.

There was a large contingency of diehard Nuggets fans calling for Karl’s firing at the time—they had been for years. It’s clear now that the casual Denver fan was content, but I think the front office listened to those diehard fans.

They brought in Brian Shaw, who wanted the Nuggets to be a little worse in the regular season, but better in the playoffs. The Nuggets never made the playoffs. They became an NBA bottom feeder with embarrassing incidents on and off the court.

After a year and a half, the Nuggets made the decision to fire Shaw, believing that such a move could restore the Nuggets integrity. That sense of prestige has not been restored.

Where’s the Nuggets Integrity?

To many Nuggets fans, the mistake was not in hiring Shaw, but in firing Karl. No one with the Nuggets ever really acknowledged that error in firing Karl. Fans don’t feel like they can trust the organization. President Josh Kroenke and General Manager Tim Connelly (I’ll get to him) are still making the team’s decisions.

It seems like the Nuggets’ management (and Shaw) were happy using their players as scapegoats. If you follow the Nuggets you know the problems included Gallinari’s injury, Kenneth Faried, Ty Lawson, Javale McGee and more. The Nuggets are cleaning up these problems, but fans are still comparing this team to the Karl Nuggets.

According to the Harvard Business Review, “of all the factors that can undermine behavioral integrity, among the most dangerous is managers’ inability to see an integrity problem in themselves.” This feels like the problem with the Nuggets—they never really grasped where the hits to their reputation were coming from.

Fans May Be Wrong, Nuggets May Be Crazy

“Real trust (even in our modern culture) doesn’t always come from divulging, from providing more transparency, but from the actions that people take (or that we think they take) before our eyes. It comes from people who show up before they have to, who help us when they think no one is watching. It comes from people and organizations that play a role that we need them to play.” —Seth Godin

The disconnect between people closely following the Nuggets and the casual fan arises at this point. Connelly seems like the right guy for the Nuggets and he is drafting well. People who know Connelly speak highly of him and he’s made great transactions. Head Coach Michael Malone seems like a good coach for a young team. However, neither person is building on the Nuggets integrity right now.

When the Nuggets fired Shaw, they replaced him with Melvin Hunt, a George Karl guy who was well-liked in the era of success. Choosing an unknown like Malone instead of Hunt or another well-respected Nuggets figure Chauncey Billups, didn’t restore that trust.

Come on, would those guys really bring trust? Think about how the Denver Broncos recovered from the disastrous Josh McDaniel era. They brought in the most trusted man in Colorado: John Elway. The same goes for the Colorado Avalanche. After seasons of poor play, they leaned on trust built up with the championships of the Joe Sakic and Patrick Roy era.

I’m not saying this is how trust should work, but in a city with four major sports teams, why spend energy on the Nuggets if the team hasn’t repaired that relationship?

So how can the Nuggets rebuild trust? Make the playoffs again. In fact, if they can win a playoff series in the next few years—this era of distrust might already be forgotten (although, I still know some fans that are mad the Nuggets fired Doug Moe). This may require some relationship counseling.

For more sportswriting by Derek Kessinger, visit DerekinDenver.com

There are two versions of America. In one version, we liberate the world by spreading freedom and hope everywhere. This America is Superman. The other version of America works in the shadows. Covert operations, back channel deals—whatever is necessary even if it is morally wrong. This America is Batman.

I had a college professor layout this dual vision of the U.S. as the reason we are so drawn to these two heroes. I wanted to explore these ideologies further. Especially with Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice set to premiere this month.

I turned to my resident superhero expert, Patrick. Known to his Twitter followers as @ManofTomorrow01, Patrick is my superhero vendor. He introduced me to Justice League 8 and convinced me to watch Arrow. I’m a novice in the comic book world. Patrick brings a deep knowledge about the battle between his hero Superman and my guy, Batman.

This conversation is accessible to everyone—not just superhero fanatics.

DK: Hey Patrick, so right off the bat, I’m guessing that you’re the most excited of anyone I know for the upcoming Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice movie. I feel like I know from Twitter that you saw Man of Steel 60 times. On the debate between the two, you would prefer to be Superman, right? How come?

Patrick: Superman has always been my favorite superhero, ever since I watched a VHS tape at my grandmother’s house with the Max Fleischer Superman cartoons on it. Back then, I loved him because he could jump over a building and punch through a wall.

But when I started watching the 90s animated series he appealed to me because he was such a nice, normal person and was kind to everyone. Clark Kent really became a hero, and I admired him for being this guy that had infinite power, but he still wanted to be a journalist and a normal guy.

That’s pretty much where it went for me, I liked him because he always hoped for something better, for himself and for other people and believed people wanted to do the right thing.

It’s why my first tattoo was “hope” in Kryptonian.

DK: I first became a Batman fan when I was really young watching old episodes of the Adam West Batman show. It was only watching it years later that I realized it was a comedy. From that point forward, I have always loved the idea of a superhero without powers, but gadgets, intellect and stealth.

“He’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll hunt him. Because he can take it.”

What do you think about the idea put forth at the end of the Dark Knight? In our society today, would we be better served with a hero like Superman or Batman?

Patrick: I loved the 60’s Adam West show! I loved the Dark Knight, and I think today, a hero like Batman might be more practical or tolerable, because I can imagine so much opposition to Superman due to his strength, being an alien, and how so many people would consider those things as reasons not to trust him.

Batman wouldn’t necessarily be that accepted either, but I think people are happy when justice is retributive, and to me, Batman is more about that than Superman. Making the bad guys pay, preying on their fear, and possibly making them “feel” it, since he generally is depicted as willing to dish out more pain than Superman is comfortable with.

But, my bias showing, I think someone like Superman who is willing to be out in the open and help people and remain humble, and hopeful, pushing for a more inclusive society and “seeing the best” in everyone is what we would need today.

My best friend (and Batman fanatic) has always said that in any Batman vs. Superman encounter that puts their ideologies against one another, it always better serves the story for Superman’s to win.

DK: Is it interesting to you that Batman vs. Superman is setting up the opposite scenario of Ironman vs. Captain America? Batman (Dark Knight) wants to control Superman (White Knight), while Iron Man (Dark Knight) wants to control Captain America (White Knight)? I think it says a lot about where we are with these mythic storylines that this question is popping up in two different franchises.

Patrick: It’s definitely funny that they both come out in the same year. I can’t remember when Captain America: Civil War was announced relative to Batman v Superman (I think the BvS comic con announcement was first) but it’s just a weird stroke of luck they both decided to do the same type of story.

I think Iron Man is definitely, like Batman, the more pragmatic between he and Captain America. It’s interesting how popular Cap is given his “boy scout” nature and the old fashioned, or naive, ideals he champions. It’s just like Sherman, but I hear a lot of dislike for Superman because of those reasons, whereas people love Cap.

I would say if I had to connect it to current events, it is timely to question these hopeful ideas, because I don’t think many people see them as working or having a place in the world as it is. Captain America: The Winter Soldier is the best Marvel film in my opinion because it really started looking at how Cap could function in a post-9/11, post-Edward Snowden world.

Batman represents that suspicion, and skepticism, where he doesn’t trust Superman’s power and strength, or his ability to seemingly be anywhere and see anything.

But I also don’t see Superman as representative of gov’t surveillance or extraordinary rendition, but I think that’s Batman’s perception of him, leading into Batman vs. Superman.

DK: One of the problems I’ve always had with Superman is seeing his human qualities. He kind of falls into the label of, “what does he have to complain about?” A label people sometimes throw on athletes.

I get that Superman’s an alien who lost his entire planet, but it seems easier to relate to Batman’s past. Superman can turn back time. He has only one weakness. He chooses to be Clark Kent. How should we find sympathy for Superman?

Patrick: I totally get that. It makes sense that people see his power and wonder, “how could his life be difficult?”
And really, Batman’s past is so horrible solely because his parents were killed in front of him. But outside of that, he grew up extremely privileged, with endless wealth. I think they both had difficult circumstances growing up, Bruce’s just feels more immediately traumatic, since Clark was a baby when he lost his parents, that doesn’t haunt him like Bruce.

I never felt sorry for Superman, per se, but more admiration with how he chooses to use the abilities he has. I feel the opposite way Tarantino explains Superman in Kill Bill. Instead of seeing the human race as weak and pathetic, he would rather live his everyday life as a regular human.

People might say, “if I had Superman’s abilities I wouldn’t have to work,” or “I’d be an athlete with millions of dollars” etc. But that speaks more to how they would want profit, whereas Superman only wants a normal life where he’s accepted and can help people as a journalist and as Superman.

DK: And that seems to be the draw of Superman. It reminds me of the of the line from the trailer, “you don’t owe this world a thing, you never did.”

Superman chooses to help the world, even when it doesn’t help him back or support him. How far do you think that can go in the movie? Any predictions? What would you most like to see happen in Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice?

Patrick: They’ve definitely taken directions that caused me to raise some eyebrows. I didn’t like him killing Zod in Man of Steel. In the trailers it does kind of seem like he’s trying to project some authority, when he tells Batman to stop doing what he’s doing.

I think people will be surprised by the movie, in that maybe they don’t fight as much as we think. It seems like they have one scrum, but then that’s it. I expect them to kind of test each other out before the fight with Batman in his armor.

Doomsday is an interesting way to give them something to fight, especially with Wonder Woman in the mix.
I think Batman will level the playing field with Kryptonite somehow. And I expect Wonder Woman to be the one that brings them together. That’s my hope, at least.

I’d really like to see Superman learn from Man of Steel, I was kind of shocked with all the destruction, so I’m hoping by now he’s more practiced at helping get people out of harm’s way when fighting someone like Doomsday.

DK: Thanks so much for doing this Patrick! We’ll have to do this again after the movie comes out. If you were going to recommend one Superman story I should check out, what would it be?

Patrick: No problem! And definitely, my bff is coming into town to see it, we plan on marathoning it like we did The Dark Knight lol.

I would go with either Superman for All Seasons, or All Star Superman. In my opinion, All Star is the best Superman story I’ve ever read. Got all 12 issues framed on my wall. But both are easy to get into because they don’t fit into any overarching canon or series.

JL8 #53 By Yale Stewart http://jl8comic.tumblr.com/post/26395397067/jl8-53-by-yale-stewart-based-on-characters-in-dc

It’s not scary to leap. It’s scary to land.

A leap is not a jump. A jump is a blip that doesn’t change your location. A leap is not a hop. A hop is an action of surprise or energy. A leap is not a dive. A dive is desperate because you have little control over your trajectory. A leap is not a lunge. Lunges are movements of inches, barely risking anything.

A leap is movement from a calculated starting point off into the unknown.

Imagine running to the edge of a building. You’re Jason Bourne being chased by the problems of your life. You know that you’re aiming for the rooftop across the alleyway. You’ve seen the gap between buildings from below and you have a picture in your head of the layout of the next rooftop.

You won’t be able to see the other rooftop until after you leap. You don’t know for sure that you’ll be able to leap that distance. A new, more dangerous enemy may await your arrival. You might hurt be hurt by some hidden danger on that next rooftop. You might wish you could turn back halfway, but it will be too late.

Are you willing to risk a leap to the next rooftop to get beyond your current predicament? Even if it’s impossible to know exactly where you’ll land?

At this point, a lot of us stop.

While life’s current problems are chasing us, it’s hard to maneuver into the unknown unless those current problems are unbearable.

Even when we know there are opportunities to learn, grow and advance, we feel a fear of the unknown. We reason with ourselves that it’s better to face the problems we can see. We can put a name to these problems. The trajectory into the abyss is terrifying.

But there is such joy in the leap. There are few feelings better than weightlessness. It’s one of the reasons we love swinging rides and roller coasters. That moment of freedom where, for a brief second, no force is holding us down. It’s why the most exciting part of watching a football fly is when the ball hangs in the air before it turns downward. We love the top of the leap—the space between control and consequence.

Then we have to fall. As Buzz Lightyear would say a leap is not flying, but falling with style. It’s bracing for the correction of gravity. We may come back to Earth gracefully or we might create a big splash as the Olympic diving judges bemoan your poor form entering the pool.

To be successful, we need to embrace the fall and the gravity of the situation. We need to know, as fast as possible, how close to our target we’re going to land. That way, we can move on to the next leap.

Leaping is about muscle memory. It’s not an art form. Leaping for the first time at a tiny target sets you up for failure. You’re not a professional yet. You don’t have the confidence to hit that ledge, and you know that not making it can lead to a painful fall. Take a leap, stick with the trajectory and then try again.

The best way to leap is toward a target so big that you’re bound to hit it. You can succeed if you leap with the intention of learning. There are lessons in both landing on the pavement with knee pain and splashing down into the ocean after a flight to the moon.

Don’t try to change course halfway through the fall—it’s too late. The more you struggle, the bigger the disaster. You will have to correct your mistakes from the ground. We can only control so much and half the battle of leaping is living with the uncertain landing.

Take a leap of possibility. Look to the sky and bound for your next rooftop. Enjoy the rush of rising through the air. Take in the view during that serene moment where you surrender control to the forces around you. Savor that feeling of excitement in your stomach as you begin to fall. No matter where you land, you’ll find your footing, and create the confidence to leap again.

A note about my most recent blog for the Experience Institute: Check Your Story’s Focus or Lose Your Audience

There are three types of writers: writers who write for themselves, writers who write for their peers and writers who write for their audiences. While I think the first two have their merits, I am most interested in telling stories that reflect back something on the current culture. In writing this blog post as a student of Experience Institute, I really wanted to explain to a community of dreamers, innovators and learners the importance of framing a story.

When reading this piece now, several weeks after I submitted it, I notice moments where I am sure the audience can’t hear my voice, but I hope that they can see a fire juggler.

If you’ve never seen a fire juggler, I suggest heading to the Pearl Street Mall in Boulder on a summer’s day. Fire jugglers work among the many street performers that entertain the crowds. If you have the time, stop for a while and study the way a street performer interacts with an audience. They don’t have the luxury of performing for themselves or for their peers. When your livelihood depends on donations, you quickly learn how to perform for the crowds of today.

CHECK YOUR STORY’S FOCUS OR LOSE YOUR AUDIENCE

Written for Experience Institute 

An author’s greatest asset is the ability to shape what details the audience can see. This insight came to me during a talk by Experience Institute all-star photographer Kevin Von Qualen. Kevin showed my class how a great photo really comes down to choosing your focus. A creator, in any art form, must decide what stays in the frame and what is cropped out.

A skilled storyteller narrows the frame of view to just the important details. Imagine taking a picture on your phone of a fire juggler from 100 feet away at a crowded outdoor mall. In your mind, you’re about to take a great picture, but the result is a haphazard mess of people and stores. The blurry orange of fire in the distance holds none of the brilliance of the performer. For the best picture, you need to move closer to the subject or find better equipment.

Now imagine you’re up close to that fire juggler…

Read the rest at expinstitute.com/2016/02/check-your-storys-focus-or-lose-your-audience/

I launched a project on February 29, 2016 (Leap Day) called the DK Chronicle. I decided to share my last post first. It’s a little messy because I’m not sure how the chronicle is going to turn out.

(PARENTHESES TO EDIT FOR FINAL DK CHRONICLE POST)

It is with (hesitation/relief/defeat/indignation) that I make this announcement today. After (insert number of minutes I worked on this project), I realized that I no longer have the (time/willpower/belief/credibility) to continue the DK Chronicle. It was the pressure of (strangers/critics/people close to me/my own doubts) that finally pushed me over the edge.

The DK Chronicle started with good intentions. I wanted to create space to explore different types of storytelling. The Chronicle began as a lab to test my own ability to communicate in a variety of ways.

I approached The Chronicle with fear and anxiety, and after a few late nights writing alternate scripts for West Wing episodes. I have trouble sharing stories that are authentic to me. When I care about something, I shield my feelings and become a timid storyteller. (A sentence on this being the reason the project failed).

I cared about connecting with my audience. I did not want to write for people easily distracted by shiny object or old Top-40 hits. I thought about writing pieces for my younger self (and maybe stop him from starting the DK Chronicle). Perhaps I could write for people interested in topics that interest me (I could not). I wanted to create things that I would want to come across online.

I knew that I would make mistakes (LIST BIG MISTAKES). I was (rightly) afraid no one would read The Chronicle. I might become an inside joke among people I knew (LINKS TO MEAN TWEETS). I tried to leave the door open to anything that might let The Chronicle evolve (but I tripped over my own hesitations).

I wondered, what’s the worst thing that could happen? I had a few thoughts. North Korea could love the Chronicle, adopt it as doctrine, and use it as justification to attack South Korea. I could break the Internet, and when they found out that I broke it, they would drag me off to internet jail where no one would let me use Twitter (plus or minus?).

Lawsuits entered into my mind. What if I plagiarized someone through telepathy, or wrote about a fictional character that turned out to be Stranger Than Fiction? What if everyone lost respect for me and I never got another job as a writer, journalist or lemonade squeezer?

(A paragraph on why I ultimately failed on all accounts if that’s what happened. That’s probably what happened. Talk about how I never could get past my doubts. I had trouble with the fake voices of people who might read The Chronicle, but in real life ignored me. Mention how I’m getting out of creative fields all together and taking a job as an insurance adjustor or a crossing guard.)

Thanks for braving the cold Internet to read this piece and consume any other piece from the DK Chronicle. By the way, it was called the DK Chronicle because my initials at the time of starting this project were D and K for Derek Kessinger (I realize that I might have changed my legal name in this time period). If any of my work here resonated with you, please send those thoughts to the therapist I employed because of anxiety caused by The Chronicle (INCLUDE ADDRESS).

—End it with a quote that best fits the situation:

“Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it’s been.” —The Grateful Dead

“The best-laid schemes of mice and men, often go awry.” —John Steinbeck

“Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow.” —William Shakespeare

“Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike, they’ve all come to look for America.” —Simon and Garfunkel

“Well, live and learn. At least we lived.” —Seinfeld

“I’ve made a huge mistake.” —Gob Bluth

“Here’s some simple advice: always be yourself. Never take yourself too seriously. And beware of advice from experts, pigs, and members of Parliament.” —Kermit the Frog